Tell Me Your Counsels
by Emily-Of-Midgard
Summary: Saturnalia2014 gift! Julius Caesar is not the most tactful man in Rome. Nor is Brutus the most sensible. What else are their wives to do but talk about it?


Title: Tell Me Your Counsels

Summary: Saturnalia2014 gift! Julius Caesar is not the most tactful man in Rome. Nor is Brutus the most sensible. What else are their wives to do but talk about it?

Parings: I guess Portia/Calpurnia if you want it to be, Calpurnia/Julius Caesar, Portia/Brutus

Author's Note: This is my Saturnalia2014 gift for bitchtownexpress on Tumblr. She requested "Portia and Calpurnia complaining about the stupidity of their husbands" and I hope that I fulfilled your prompt!

* * *

><p>"Forget not in your speed to touch Calpurnia, for our elders say the barren, touched in this holy race shake off their sterile curse." Caesar says to Mark Antony and Calpurnia's face turns redder than wine. I feel myself blushing for her. Next to me, Brutus audibly gasps and Cassius's eyebrows seem to disappear in shock.<p>

Calpurnia bows her head in what looks to be agreement but I know it to be embarrassment. Yet when I look upon Caesar's face, I know that he did not mean to hurt her. He just did not think. He looks confused as Calpurnia shrinks under his gaze. You would think that a man who has had two wives before would know what to say and when to say it. Yet the man so known for his charisma and his charm seems to give no thought to his wife. All eyes are upon her as she scrambles for a response.

"When Caesar says do this, it is preformed." Mark Antony pipes up at just the right moment, mercifully moving the conversation from Calpurnia. Caesar lets out a riotous laugh and claps Mark Antony on the shoulder. Calpurnia looks at him for a moment and then scurries into the crowd. She was a shy creature by nature, rarely leaving her villa, so I cannot even imagine what she must be feeling.

My feet seem to move by themselves to follow her. Brutus, thankfully, does not question me. He is far from an expert on social interaction but even he seems to understand the gravity of what has happened.

I do not know Calpurnia well. Nobody does. Caesar had taken her in marriage years before yet due to her timid nature, she was rarely seen. She was around the same age as I. I at least knew that. I also knew (as did everyone now) that she and Caesar had never had any children. It was obvious from the way he had spoken that Caesar held her responsible for this.

A thought crossed my mind. Should I, in my condition, speak to her? That may make things worse. Yet, did I have a choice? I glance around the crowd. It looked like I was the only person that seemed to care what had happened.

I let out a sigh and continued on my way. The farther I walked away from the festival, the thinner the crowd seemed to get. By the time I arrived at the fountain, I was the only person on the path.

Calpurnia was there, splashing water onto her face. I stood next to a pillar, uncertain of what to say now that I was there. She bent over the fountain, examining her face in the reflection. Her breath came in sharp gasps. After a few moments, she let out a harsh sob. I felt my heart twist in pity for her.

I walked towards her, a hand outreached. "Lady Caesar?"

She spun around, her face blotchy from crying. She clutched at her robes in shock. "Portia Catonis!" She cried. "I did not see you there, forgive me. What do you need?"

"Nothing," I respond. "I came to see if you were okay."

She cocks her head slightly to the side in mock confusion. I resist the urge to snort. Even Casca would not be fooled by this act. "What do you mean, Portia Catonis? I am fine."

"Forgive me if I am being too bold," I say, bowing my head in respect. "But you seemed to be a bit upset at the ceremony-."

"How I feel is no concern of you, Portia Catonis!" She cries suddenly, her face turning red again. Yet this time it is in anger. Her expression is one of rage. I flinch back from her. She stares at me for a moment and then, like somebody has extinguished a lantern, her face goes blank.

"Forgive me," She says in a metallic voice as she sweeps her hair up into a prim pun and arranges her robes to their proper places. "It was wrong of me to have snapped at you, Portia Catonis."

She turns away from me, once again the proper First Lady of the Romans, and starts towards the festivities. I had never been an orator like Brutus. True, I enjoyed Philosophy but I preferred to read it for my own enjoyment rather than for the debate. But I can't just let her go without doing something! Desperate, I blurt out the first words that come to my mind: "Lord Brutus is an idiot as well.

She stops dead in her tracks and turns around slowly. The look on Calpurnia's face is priceless. She stares at me for a few moments. _"What?"_

I put my hand over my mouth. I cannot believe that I had said that. What had possessed me to say that!? Calpurnia is staring at me like I have grown a second head. "What did you say?"

I decide that my best course of action is to try and play it off as a joke. I force myself to look more confident than I am. I conjure up an image of Cassius into my mind. What would he say?

"Do not get me wrong, I love Brutus dearly. But he can be such an idiot sometimes." Spoken like a true Longinus. Somewhere, Cassius is cheering.

"What would possess you to say something like that?" Calpurnia asks. She actually looks concerned now. "I beg your pardon, Portia Catonis, but are you ill?"

"No, I am not. I just wanted to assure you that….well, every woman's husband is an idiot," I say, the words flowing from my mouth. "We love them dearly but men are rather stupid, aren't they. It's a universal experience, I am afraid. You aren't alone."

I can tell from Calpurnia's expression that I have lost her. She's staring at me like I'm speaking Egyptian. I feel my face grow hot and I decide that the best course of action is to leave. Perhaps I can be of better assistance if I just pretend this never happened.

"Forgive me for intruding, Lady Caesar," I say with a bow as I pray that my hair covers how red my face is. "I shall be going now."

I turn around and start towards the festival.

"Does your husband ever refuse to listen to you?"

Her voice is so quiet that for a moment, I don't think that she has spoken. But when she gasps, shocked at her own insolence, I know that she has.

"All the time," I respond easily. "I love my husband dearly, but I am afraid he doesn't often listen to reason. He is obsessed with honor and if he does not think the reasonable thing is the honorable thing..." I trail off as I turn to look at Calpurnia. Her expression is thoughtful.

"Lord Caesar is not quite like that," She says slowly. "Truth be told, it is hard to guess what he is going to do. He does what he wants, when he wants."

I smile at her. "Brutus is the same. I think all husbands are the same. The stories Junia Tertia could tell you about her husband would outdo us both."

She looks at me for a moment and then she tentatively smiles back at me. It only lasts for a moment before her mask of 'Roman matron' is back in place but that is enough. "Well," She says. "I thank you for your conversation and your sympathy. But now I think I must return back to the Lupercalia."

"It is no trouble. And if I may be so bold, Lady Caesar," I say. "My mansion shall always be open to you if you need to talk."

Calpurnia looks at me and smiles the first real smile I have ever seen from her. "Thank you," She says sincerely. She gestures at the path. "Shall we walk back together?"

I smile and nod and together, we go to face whatever awaited us.


End file.
